Wednesday, 31 August 2011

The Stuff Of Life

I kept a diary when I was human. I wrote silly little girl things in it, about the boys I had crushes on or the fights I could hear my parents having or what I wanted for my birthday. The stupid stuff that feels so big when you’re young. And I remember, I kept this list in it, I called it “MY STUFF.” Like a catalogue of all the things I owned. The mix tape my friend Stacy made me, with that Backstreet Boys song. My headband collection from Claire’s. The postcard my cousin sent me from New York City (she called it “The Big Apple” and said she’d never had pizza so good in her entire life). The Aerosmith CD with all the nipples on it, which I nicked from a garage sale and never told my parents about.
But now that I’m a vampire, and I’m gonna live forever, it’s weird to think about owning things. That STUFF would ever be mine. Possessions come and go. They’re found, lost, they deteriorate or lose their value. Even sentiments fade away eventually. Look at me and Hoyt. We used to be as real as anything on that list, and now, well, we’re just a dusty ol’ memory being stuffed in a box.


Nowhere To Go

On my fifteenth birthday, after having dinner at the church with my family, I snuck out with a few friends. We said we were going to get some root beer floats at Linnea and Tony’s Diner, but instead we went to the park one town over, where the public school kids would gather with brown bagged forties and stolen vodka. I had never been before, but my friend Erica used to go all the time and she was introducing me to everyone. I forgot most of ‘em, but there was this girl there, Nikki... she smelled kinda bad, and her hair was all tangled. I think she did it on purpose, she called them dreadlocks or something, but it didn’t look so good. I asked where she was from and she said she was born in De Soto parish, but she lived on the streets now. When I asked her why, she said got nowhere else to go. Then she shrugged her shoulders, lit up a hand-rolled cigarette and smiled at me like I was the biggest idiot she’d ever seen. I never felt so sheltered, you know? I knew I was going home to my cozy little house, where my mama would be folding my underwear and baking fresh cookies or some shit. And although my daddy could be mean as a hell, I still had a roof over my head. Even after I was turned, I had the old Compton place. And then Hoyt and I had a home, all to ourselves.
But now? I really got nowhere to go. I wonder if Nikki’s still living on the streets or if she found herself a home. Or maybe home is just a feeling, and it doesn’t matter where your feet are. Maybe wherever you are, that’s home.


Be The Man

Where I grew up, we watched our words and we were careful about what came out of our mouths. Because once it’s out? It’s out. You can’t take it back. You can apologize, you can say you didn’t mean it, but you can’t hit control-Z and you can’t just erase what’s already been done.
Y’all keep saying that Hoyt didn’t mean “shit” that way, and you know what? You’re probably right. I know he loves me, vampire and all. And maybe the power of my blood makes him feel small. He’s in a relationship with a woman who’s faster and stronger than him. But that’s the woman he fell in love with. It’s been that way since day one. And while I want to let him be the man, so he can feel big and important, isn’t all that stuff silly? Haven’t we moved beyond all that in today’s world? Women can have careers and men can be stay-at-home dads.
Well I ain’t gonna just sit pretty for him. I’ve never been that way and I never will be.

- BabyVamp

Things that are _____

I can’t get Hoyt’s words outta my mind. Calling my blood shit.
When I think about my blood, I think about its healing nature. Its way of connecting me to the man that I love. At least that’s how it used to be. But lately, it’s like the little rope tied to him at one end, and me at the other? It’s fraying or unraveling. All the fibers are coming apart and now we’re just a mess of string that used to be something strong.
When I think about things that are shit,  I think of what I did to Hoyt, with that guy at Fantgasia. I think of whoever or whatever beat Jason near to his death.
But my blood? My blood ain’t shit. Hoyt Fortenberry, you could not have been more wrong. My blood just saved someone’s life. Maybe it’s my fault that the rope is coming apart, but it ain’t my blood’s fault.
There are things that are shit, and then there are things that are not shit. 


Laffeyette, Lovers, and Leftovers

Hey folks. First, I’d like to thank y’all for your generous input. I didn’t realize I had so many friends out there! This is a lot easier than just googling “how to be a vampire housewife” and sifting through all the crap on the internet.
So many of you - including Lisa Cheli, R.J., Andrew, and bite me - came up with the brilliant idea of microwavable dinners. Why didn’t I think of that?! Or more importantly… why didn’t HOYT think of that? katiln was right. Hoyt should understand how uncomfortable all this food stuff makes me and consider my feelings a little more. But still, there is one slight problem: Our microwave is where I heat up my Tru Blood. Call me crazy, but I don’t think I could stomach the residual smell of nuked mashed potatoes and chicken in there. And we just don’t have a crock pot, like Melinda and Dana Hilton suggested. I guess I could ask Bill for a housewarming gift, maybe one of those slow cookers, or an extra microwave? But I feel weird asking him for anything these days. I’m trying to make it on my own, you know? I don’t wanna come crawling back to daddy with my tail between my legs every time the waters get a little choppy. I’m sure sometimes I will, but I’d like to see if I can handle this one on my own.
I might have to try amber’s suggestion: bringing home leftovers from Merlotte’s. What does Lafayette do with all those extra biscuits at the end of the night, anyway? And he’s a lover, he’ll understand. If I explain my predicament to him, I’m sure he’d let me wrap up a few items before I go home if it means it can keep me n’ Hoyt together. If I haven’t screwed that up too badly already…

- BabyVamp

A Dead Girls Guide

Hey, everyone. I've had a little too much time on my hands lately. Theres not much you can do in Bon Temps, as usual. And, I made a little something. A girls guide. Um, well, a dead girls guide to pass as a human. Sometimes you don't wanna be looked at that way, ya know? Like your physco, or your about to eat a handful of babys. So if you wanna get away from yourself for an evening, or your trying to put together a killer Halloween costume, heres some tips from yours truly -- Jessica.

Step 1: Skin. I've always been fair, but this is like a whole new kind of pale. Solution? Spray tanner. My friend Christina swears by the Banana Boat brand, but I think any will work. It will sting your eyes, so what I like to do is put a little on my hands.

Step 2: Eyeliner. This parts really important, because the red part is a dead giveaway. (No pun intended).

Step 3: Nails. The red cuticale gives you away. But paint your nails red, and walla! You cant see it!
Step 4: And then there are fangs... File those friggers down. They'll grow back in a couple of hours. It gets all powdery & white, so keep a broom, or vacume.

So thats my guide. Hope it helped.

- BabyVamp